Rose-Marie Sorokin Blog

My Top Health Tips

Tue, 27 Jan 2026 14:19:42 GMT

My Top Health Tips - for feeling fantastic!

Is your health important to you? I am sure the answer is yes! Of course it is. What are we without our health? What kind of life do we have if we have a lot of health problems?

I have always had a big interest in health. It started in my late teens when I realised that many of my friends liked to drink large amounts of alcohol and eat very unhealthy food. I did not want to be like them, and I left that circle of friends and shortly after I met a woman who had a lot of knowledge about herbs and healthy eating. I learnt so much from her and was so inspired to look at the link between what we eat and how we feel. I am still on that journey today and I am still inspired to learn more.

Eat Real Food.

So, what is important to know about when it comes to health? For me, the first thing that I think about is nutrition. If we want to feel good and live a good life, we need to understand how food is affecting our body and mind. We simply cannot afford to fall into the habit of eating large amounts of ultra processed food (UPF makes up 56% of daily energy intake in the UK). A simple way of knowing if you eat UPF is to look at the package and if there are lots and lots of ingredients and ingredients you don’t recognise or if there are lots of e-numbers, you simply put it back on the shelf. I do. It means that the food manufacturers have spent a lot of time and money putting the product together so that it is as ‘tasty’ and addictive as possible (often containing a lot of sugar, salt and chemicals). This is so that you come back and buy it repeatedly.

Instead, focus on eating real food and make your meals from scratch. Use organic produce as much as possible and focus on fresh, raw ingredients. Eat a Rainbow Diet! Plenty of colour with plenty of vitamins and minerals. I was recently reading an article by some longevity experts and not one of them were eating ultra processed foods!

Sleep

I recently bought a fitness tracker which apart from tracking steps and calories also monitors my sleep. This is a brilliant tool to get an idea of the quality of your sleep. Luckily, I had very good results and I am sleeping better than 82% of people my age. However, if you are one of the many who suffers from insomnia or poor sleep, you can do a lot to improve it.

Yet again we are back to what you eat and drink. Too much UPF, sugar, caffein, alcohol and eating late in the day will interfere with your sleep. Try to create good sleeping habits such as not eating or drinking anything (or at least in very small amounts) for at least 4 hours before bed. This gives your digestive system time to digest what you have eaten during the day so that it can rest during the night.

Try to go to bed at the same time every night. The body will then get used to relaxing and slowing down at this time. Also, make sure your bedroom is not too warm.

Incorporate habits that minimises stress and tension such as meditation, relaxation techniques, yoga, walking, breathing exercises, creative activities, listening to music, reading a good book. Minimise screen time, especially before bedtime.

Movement

We were meant to move our bodies! In today’s world many of us do a lot of sitting down! Not good! And with everyone constantly looking at their mobiles, we are heading for big trouble! What do you think will happen to your neck, shoulders and back if you have your head bent forward a lot of the time?

So put that mobile away and head out in nature. Movement is Medicine! And there is so much you can do. Even small ‘bite size’ exercises will work. A few squats as you wait for the kettle to boil, a bit of stretching in bed before you get up, taking the stairs instead of the lift, a walk around the garden, using your rebounder for a few minutes.

Or you can join a class – yoga, Pilates, dance etc. Or swim, run, cycle or walk. And what is also very important as we age is strength training. You can use free weights or your body weight. If you do not have any weights available you can do squats, plank, down dog, push ups, lounges etc. We lose muscle mass and strength as we age (it’s called sarcopenia), so it is very important that you incorporate strength training.

Mental health

Mental health problems are on the rise and some of it, especially among young people, relate to over-use of social media. But of course, we all go through difficult experiences in our lives such as divorce, health problems, care of elderly parents or other relatives, financial problems, loneliness, and much more. This is where self-care becomes important. However, if we are in the middle of a crisis, we may have difficulties taking steps to take better care of ourselves. But here are some tips.

- Connect with others. Talk to family and friends or have counselling. Or join a group.

- Spend time in nature.

- Meditate.

- Eat well and exercise.

- Prioritise sleep and relaxation.

- Write a diary.

How NOT to do too much

Mon, 10 Nov 2025 15:34:24 GMT

Tips for how to create more space and time for yourself

How NOT to do too much

Are you busy? Though so. Is your mind full to the brim with things to do and things to worry about? Yep, though so too. Do you have a feeling that ‘you never get there’, that is, to the end of the line of all the things you need to do? You are not alone. Far from it in fact. There are many expressions for how you feel: overwhelmed, crazy busy, totally bogged down etc. There is no need for me to make the list longer, as I know that you will get it anyway.

The scenario might be something like this: you have a full or part time job (or run a business), two children, a husband/wife/partner, a house with garden, two cars, a dog and elderly parents who need help. Things you need to do: get the children to school, go to work, do what is required of you at work, pick up children from school, take them to training or other activities, make dinner, walk the dog, clean up, do the laundry, garden, repairs on the house/get professional help in. Then: meet up with friends and family, help a relative or friend, organise various activities and appointments, and doing some self-care (for many people this drops of the list!). I think that by just writing this my blood pressure went up! Just think what it does to yours if this is your life situation.

And just because I am a yoga and meditation teacher it doesn’t mean that I am relaxing all day. I still have a business to run and a lot to do. A few times I have reached a point when I have just simply had to stop. This happened last week. I woke up and felt very, very tired. After breakfast I did my usual thing of starting up the computer and answering my emails. And then I felt that I could not spend another minute working at my desk. I had come to a complete stop. So, I turned off all screens and just rested. Went for a slow, gentle walk in nature, had a nap, meditated, wrote in my journal and just simply rested. The next day I felt fine again.

So why do we allow ourselves to get to a point of exhaustion? And more importantly, what can we do about it?

One problem is that we often unconsciously just ‘keep going’ regardless. We don’t take the time to think about what we are doing and how it is affecting us. We just keep working beyond our capacity and we are not fully conscious of what we are doing.

Ultimately, putting constant pressure on ourselves can result in workaholism, almost like an addiction. It can be interesting to look at the deeper meaning of such a behaviour. Where does it come from? Are you trying to prove something? Is it connected to a sense of a lack of self-worth?

Let’s look at what you can do to solve this.

Stop.

Just simply stop (that’s what I did). I know this may not be easy, but if you are already exhausted, how can you physically, mentally and emotionally go on? Take a day, a weekend, a few hours or even one hour to rest. Turn off all screens and withdraw from the craziness. Just simply rest.

Accept that you can’t do everything.

None of us are super-humans and we all have a limit to our capacity. Accept the fact that you may never be able to do everything. You may have to compromise or completely let go of certain things. Accept that things are not perfect and that you are not perfect. Just simply accept that and stop pushing.

Plan your time

Look at your diary and see what is realistic. For example, is it realistic to have three evening meetings in one week (on top of your full-time job), followed by a weekend when friends are visiting and then in between this helping out at your local charity. Be aware of when there seems to be too many things going on in a short space of time. I have learnt this the hard way. Planning to many things and then a week after that getting very tired or ill. Be careful how you use your energy.

Plan in proper relaxation time

It may be unlikely that you take time for yourself unless you plan it in. How could that look? I recently talked to 80-year-old women who said that she made sure she had at least one hour per day just for herself. She would read, rest or meditate during that time. Personally, I need more than one hour per day for self-care and relaxation, so I make sure it is more like two hours and at weekends more. I would write in my journal, read, talk to a friend, sleep, meditate, take a walk in nature, do some work in the garden. Sometimes me and my partner read something inspirational to each other or just sit and watch the open fire. Another favourite is a bath surrounded with candles.

Don’t be a people pleaser

Learn to say no. When you realise that you are already tired or don’t have time, don’t agree to do even more things. You don’t have to do everything for everyone to be loved. Love yourself enough to say no when you need to.

Prioritise

Take a broader view of your life and your current situation. What is important to you – now and in the future? It could be that the book club on Wednesdays are a priority. Or your yoga class (keeps you sane!). Or spending time with your dad. Or your meditation session.

Long term it may be your health and sanity that matters most.

So why not take a piece of paper and write down what is important to you and what you can let go of - today.

Find my free recorded Meditations here

https://insighttimer.com/rosemariesorokin

Cellular Beauty - 6 Anti-ageing tips for your skin

innerlightyoga@btopenworld.com (Rose-Marie Sorokin) — Thu, 07 Mar 2024 09:30:14 GMT

How to get smooth and glowing skin

Cellular Beauty - 6 Anti-ageing Tips for your Skin

Beauty begins from within, at the cellular level. Your cells are either well-nourished or deprived of vital nutrients, impacting the condition and aging of your skin. Here are some essential tips to help you maintain healthy skin.

Nourish your skin and body with antioxidants.

Antioxidants neutralize free radicals in the body. Free radical damage—caused by pollution, sun, stress, food, and many body processes—is the leading cause of premature aging, dark spots, dullness, and elasticity loss.

So where do you find antioxidants?

In berries, fruit, dark green vegetables, carrots, nuts, avocado and beans.

Vitamin C ; supports the natural production of collagen.

Vitamin A or beta-carotene : Vitamin A is critical for skin repair and maintenance. Beta-carotene, a carotenoid and vitamin A precursor, helps to reduce free radical damage that occurs due to skin damage caused by sun exposure.

CoQ10 : CoQ10 is a fat-soluble antioxidant coenzyme found throughout your body. Thanks to these targeted antioxidant actions at the level of skin cells, CoQ10 has been clinically shown to support skin elasticity and smoothness, while combating wrinkles.

2. Support your gut microbiome.

Your skin microbiome plays a huge role in our overall health. A weak skin microbiome has decreased ability to protect you from damage, infection and external aggressors. Available research suggests using skin-barrier protecting creams and products can help sustain healthy skin flora. I use CeraVe moisturisers. CeraVe - Boots

While it's vital to support your skin microbiome for optimal skin health, it's equally important to do so with your gut microbiome. There's something called the gut-skin axis, and it plays an important role in our overall skin health: It all comes down to the permeability of the lining of your gut. When your microflora isn't balanced, it can cause leaky gut, which allows particles to "leak" out and stimulate the immune system to produce an inflammatory response in the skin and body. It could be good to take a course of pro-biotics from time to time. BioCare Bio-Acidophilus Forte - 60 Vegicaps (bodykind.com)

3. Avoid inflammation triggers.

Inflammation wreaks havoc on the skin and can result in premature aging and other skin conditions. Inflammation is your body’s reaction to aggressors. Inflammation's purpose is to help heal and fight whatever is causing the irritation. The problem arises when your body doesn’t have a break from said inflammation, i.e., a prolonged state of oxidative stress. Chronic oxidative stress leads to cell damage and they are not able to to repair and rejuvenate themselves.

Consuming inflammation-causing foods sets off an internal response that results in a vicious cycle of cell-damage. While everyone's triggers are going to vary, there are a few common culprits like alcohol, red meat, foods with a high glycemic index, refined carbohydrates, ultra processed foods (UPF), sugars, fried foods, gluten, margarine, and whatever allergens you may experience individually. Additionally, things like pollution trigger free-radical damage in the body, setting off this response in skin cells. Also stress and lack-of-sleep can also result in an inflammatory response in the body.

4. Take care of your mental well-being and prioritize good sleep habits.

Sleep is the most critical time of the day for your body and skin to repair itself. This is because as your body enters the REM cycle, many different skin-supporting hormones are released, such as melatonin and HGH (human growth hormone). “Melatonin is critically important for your skin and plays a significant role in skin repair from environmental exposure, UV light, stressors, pollution, and so on," says hormone expert and board-certified dermatologist Keira Barr, M.D.. "If you're not resting, you're not generating that melatonin, and your skin isn't repairing itself."

Now, let’s say you’re not sleeping—this likely causes is stress and anxiety. Stress often causes sleepless nights. The stress hormone is called cortisol. Cortisol plays a significant role in our collagen and elastin production which we need to keep the skin supple and youthful. Cortisol breaks down collagen and elastin, so you'll then see accelerated fine lines and wrinkling. It also impairs repair.

If you suffer from insomnia, stress or anxiety, look for stress-management techniques such as yoga, movement, breathwork, and meditation

5. Stay hydrated.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, one of the best ways to support skin health is keeping hydrated. There is some truth to why those with the most beautiful, glowing skin almost always say that drinking lots of water is how they maintain the glow (and I am sure they generally have a healthy lifestyle too).

6. Consume healthy fats.

The right balance of omega-3 and omega-6 fatty acids is essential for skin health. It's been found to improve skin barrier function, inhibit UV-induced inflammation, and hyperpigmentation, help with dry skin, and accelerate skin wound healing.

Think of aging skin cells as slightly deflated balls. Omega 3 fatty acids support the walls of the cells, making them full and bouncy again. To get plenty of omega-3s eat flaxseeds, chia seeds, tofu, broccoli, avocado and walnuts (and oily fish if you are not a vegetarian).

What you consume and how you live your life will affect how your skin cell’s function. So, if you want that healthy glow you need to look at the cellular level.

How to Breathe correctly

innerlightyoga@btopenworld.com (Rose-Marie Sorokin) — Wed, 22 Nov 2023 14:39:49 GMT

Breathing for health & stress relief

The Diaphragm

The diaphragm is the primary muscle used in respiration, which is the process of breathing. This dome-shaped muscle is located just below the lungs and heart. It moves up and down as you breathe.

In Eckhart Tolle’s, The Power of Now, he says that

"stress lives in the chest breather as that which connects us to the past and the future, both of which aren’t real. The past is based on our perception of what happened and the future hasn’t happened.

When we breathe through the muscles of the upper chest it links us to the brain pattern that keeps us locked in fear. Living in a state of worry affects the autonomic nervous system and shuts down the immune system. Many of the illnesses we live with result from stress, and stress is directly connected to the way we breathe."

Chest breathing

Some people mainly breathe in the upper chest. This is not optimal and can lead to problems. They breathe to survive, not thrive!

The reason for breathing high up in the chest is stress, anxiety, tension, pain, bad posture, alcohol and drugs, stimulants such as caffein, sugar and nicotine. Also an acid forming diet. And the habit of holding your breath.

Chest breathing activates the sympathetic nervous system, also called your ‘fight or flight' system. Activation of this system increases your heart rate, which can lead to high blood pressure and anxiety.

The alveoli are the oxygen receptor sites in the lungs. The lungs are cone shaped and it is at the base of the lungs where 70% of the alveoli live. When we breathe from the muscles of the upper chest, we aren’t bringing the breath down deep enough into the lungs to reach this concentration of receptors. It means that we are not getting optimal oxygen levels. Oxygen is needed for every function in the body.

Diaphragmatic breathing

Diaphragmatic breathing stimulates the 'rest and digest' system and brings relaxation.
It brings more oxygen to the body and all it's functions.
The up and down movement of the diaphragm gently massages the internal organs. They need this movement for optimal function.
Gives you more energy
Helps you to sleep better
Improves digestion and metabolism
Strengthens your core
Improves detoxification
Helps with the absorption of nutrients.

How to do it:

Lay on your back on a firm, comfortable surface.
Bend your knees and put your feet flat on the surface.
Place one hand on your chest and the other on your belly, below your ribs.
Breathe in slowly through your nose. Picture your belly filling with air. Watch your hands as you breathe—only the hand on your belly should rise.
Breathe out slowly through your nose. Your belly should deflate.

Completing the Stress Cycle (and finding peace and calm)

innerlightyoga@btopenworld.com (Rose-Marie Sorokin) — Thu, 30 Sep 2021 13:41:59 GMT

How to get out of Fight or Flight mode and find peace and calm again

Let’s imagine this. You are in the jungle and you are being chased by a tiger. You are in fight-or-flight mode. You run like mad! When your body is in this stress response a cascade of neurological and hormonal activities initiates physiological changes to help you survive: epinephrine acts instantly to push blood into your muscles, glucocorticoids keep you going, and endorphins help you ignore how uncomfortable all this is. Your heart is beating faster so that you can breathe more quickly and your muscles tense. Plus, to maximise your body’s efficiency in this state, your digestion slows down and your immune system takes a back seat.

What happens next? Well, you either get eaten by the lion or you escape and survive. Let’s say that you escape and run back to your village and get help. You are saved. You are so grateful and happy to be alive! You celebrate with your friends and family.

The stress cycle is complete.

This is how it is supposed to work. You get stressed, you escape the stress and you calm down and go back to normal. Cycle complete.

The problem is that we get stuck in the middle of the stress cycle. We never get to the end or to completion.

The ‘lion’ may be your boss at work. Clearly, he or she is not a threat to your life but a real pain. They may say something silly to you and you feel the flood of adrenaline, cortisol and glycogen. But you remain “nice” and behave “socially appropriate”. You don’t say anything. And this may happen day after day.

Your body is waiting for a chance to calm down and get back to normal, but your stress response is activated again and again. This means that you have chronically increased blood pressure which damages your blood vessels. Not to mention how it effects your digestion, immune function and hormones.

When we look at the fight or flight response it may look like this:

Fight: irritation, frustration, anger.

Flight: unsure, worried, anxious, scared, terrified

Then there is a third variation on this, the freeze state. Feelings associated with this state may be: numb, immobilised, disconnected.

Freeze happens when the brain assesses the threat and decides that you have no chance to either fight or flight. You “play dead” and is the last-ditch stress response when your brain perceives the situation as life-threatening. This is what animals do. In a way we can say that the autonomic nervous system is shutting down.

Now, what can you do about this? How can you help yourself to complete the stress cycle?

In the example with the lion, you run. The secret is this; you move your body. I am sure you have heard that exercise is good for you. Well, it is actually incredibly good for you! Life-saving in fact. Physical activity is what tells the brain that you have survived the threat (stress) and that you are now safe.

This is the absolute best thing you can do to complete the stress response cycle. It can be any movement such as walking, running, yoga, dancing, swimming, jumping up and down, shaking your body, tensing and releasing your muslces for a few seconds, or playing with your dog. Also just taking a few deep slow breaths slows down the stress response.

So, it needs to be something physical. As I mentioned earlier it is no good telling yourself that you should not be stressed or fearful. You need an outlet for the stress and that is why the best thing is movement. It is your body language.

Trust yourself

innerlightyoga@btopenworld.com (Rose-Marie Sorokin) — Fri, 03 Sep 2021 09:39:12 GMT

Trust yourself - 8 tips

Learning how to trust yourself is one of the most important things you can do to create the life you want. Everyone has an internal compass, and following it is always the best path to long-term happiness.

Yet, many people are conditioned to NOT trust themselves. Why?

This blog post is all about staying true to yourself, in an unpredictable world where you’re surrounded by other people’s opinions and demands. It’s about developing self-compassion when things are not going your way and you experience setbacks.

When you want to learn how to trust yourself, it starts with looking inward. It’s not selfish to pursue your desires and to look after yourself — it’s essential for a fulfilling life.

Self-trust means consistently staying true to yourself. At its very core, trusting yourself means you look after your own needs and safety. You treat yourself with love and compassion, rather than strive for perfection. You know, deep down, that you can survive difficulties (and you refuse to give up on yourself).

Here’s what self-trust looks like to me:

• Awareness of your thoughts and feelings
• Expressing yourself openly and honestly
• Sticking to personal standards, ethics, and core values
• Knowing when you need to take care of yourself first
• Confidence that you can get through difficult times
• Pursuing your dreams, without letting others stop you

If you have trouble with self-trust, you are not alone. Most of us grew up with some form of limiting beliefs.

If your parents let you get away with too much, or regularly tried to fix your problems, you may have difficulty handling responsibilities as an adult. You may feel helpless in the face of challenges or give up when things become too difficult.

If you grew up hearing a victim mentality, you may be conditioned to believe that life’s circumstances are out of your control.

Another common reason for not trusting yourself is past shaming or punishment. You’ve heard the phrase, “Children should be seen and not heard.” If you were routinely punished for expressing your needs as a child, you can continue to carry guilt, shame, or fear as you get older.

On a grander scale, family, community, and society put pressure on who you should be. It can feel uncomfortable, even dangerous, to fully express yourself. You wear a mask and put on a performance.

Here’s what a lack of self-trust looks like:

• Feeling like you are not good enough.
• Coming down hard on yourself when criticized, feeling guilty and ashamed.
• Difficulty making decisions and constantly asking others for guidance.
• Being afraid of making the wrong choice or disappointing others.
• Following the advice of an external authority, even when it’s harmful to you.
• Hiding your authentic self, feeling overly self-conscious.

When you don’t trust yourself, you end up going in many different directions. Your actions don’t always line up with what matters to you. A discord can develop between who you are and how you act.

That’s when you know you need to take back control of your life and learn how to trust yourself again.

How to trust yourself again: 8 strategies to gain self-confidence

Self-trust means empowering yourself, sticking to your principles, and showing up fully for yourself and others. When you follow through with these actions over time, you will learn how to trust in yourself—and invite others to do the same.

1. Start with self-compassion

Everyone has an internal dialogue. Sometimes your inner voice tells you that your vision or dreams are stupid or unattainable. When you make a mistake, say or do something you regret, the inner voice typically has a lot to say — none of it kind or helpful.

It’s time to transform your inner critic into a compassionate friend.

When you hear yourself in a cycle of self-doubt and criticism, take a moment to respond, like you would with a good friend.

Try practicing mindful self-compassion. When you notice yourself thinking, “I don’t trust myself, I’m afraid I’ll get it wrong again,” respond with, “Yes, this is hard, what can I do to handle this?”

Be kind to yourself.

2. Give yourself permission

If you don’t trust yourself to make a big decision start small. Give yourself permission to do something just for you, every day.

True confidence comes from feeling genuinely good about yourself. Until you get there, find ways to value yourself, even if you don’t feel that way just yet.

3. Embrace vulnerability

In her Ted Talk, Listening to Shame, psychologist and researcher Brene Brown says that people often look at vulnerability as a sign of weakness. But when you hide your vulnerabilities, you’ll never let anyone know the real you.

She suggests reframing vulnerability. Look at it as an act of bravery, rather than an imperfection. When you allow yourself to be vulnerable, you let your guard down. You give other people the signal that they can let their guard down too.

Being authentic and showing vulnerability builds strong relationships and true connections. As social creatures, we need that sense of connection to feel secure and confident.

When you feel insecure in social situations, remind yourself that it’s okay to be you. Take baby steps and risk getting vulnerable. Over time, you’ll learn how to trust yourself again and those feelings of insecurity will start to disappear.

4. Set personal boundaries

How to establish personal boundaries:

1. Practice self-awareness: Define your needs, likes, and dislikes. What do you feel comfortable with? What scares or upsets you? What situations in your life impact those emotional triggers?

2. Recognize that your needs matter.

3. Clearly communicate your needs with others.

4. Be assertive. Try to use “I” statements, rather than place blame on others.

5. Remember that you are in charge of yourself and can walk away at any time.

5. Listen to your thoughts

When you want to get to know yourself better, look inward. Spending time alone gives you the space to listen to your thoughts and emotions.

Activities like long walks, meditation, and swimming give you a chance to listen to what’s going on in your head. You may notice feelings of self-doubt that you need to address.

If you have trouble being alone, turn that time into an opportunity to treat yourself. A day of pampering, treating yourself to something nice, a massage, a hot bath, a little gift — consistently treat yourself just for the sake of it.

Do the things that make you feel good.

6. Express your authentic self

When you can’t trust yourself, you say things you think other people will like. Rather than making decisions based on your needs, you allow external factors to control your life. You keep your voice down rather than expressing your opinion.

This prevents others from knowing the real you.

It makes sense to hide parts of yourself, out of fear of rejection or criticism. You hide yourself because you feel insecure. You don’t want someone to see you vulnerable. You don’t want to admit when you’ve made a mistake.

But putting on a false exterior makes it hard to trust yourself.

Authenticity is an important part of self-trust and developing long lasting relationships. The more authentic you can be, the more you’ll learn about yourself – and the more others will learn about you too.

Let go of the idea that everyone is supposed to like you. Stay true to who you are.

7. Know what truly matters to you

An inner conflict happens when you don’t understand your most important principles. Outside influences pull you in all sorts of directions. You wind up making decisions based on other people’s opinions, rather than listening to your own.

When you examine beliefs and values, you can start matching your actions with your beliefs. You have a clear sense of who you are. You know when to say “yes” and when to walk away. Over time, you start to trust yourself more.

8. Trust your intuition

Overthinking can get in the way of trusting yourself and listen to your heart. This can lead to internal conflict and anxiety.

Sometimes you need to get out of your head, and listen to your heart. That means listening to what your body has to say about a situation. Instead of asking what you think, what do you feel?

Healing starts with feeling.

Your body offers an emotional intelligence, guiding you each and every day. When you suppress your true feelings, that can come up in unhealthy ways. You may vent your anger or sadness through self-destructive behavior.

Take the time to listen to what your heart and your body, through practices like meditation. You don’t have to process every emotion in one sitting. But over time, you’ll learn to tune into your body more and trust your gut feeling when making decisions.

How Nature Supports our Mental and Physical Health

innerlightyoga@btopenworld.com (Rose-Marie Sorokin) — Wed, 12 May 2021 16:39:16 GMT

The Healing Power of Trees

How Nature Supports Our Mental and physical Health

Trees provide breathable air, timber, fuel, food, shelter, medicine and beauty. Without trees, we could not live. They can help us think better — Plato and Aristotle did their best thinking in the olive groves around Athens, Buddha found enlightenment beneath a bodhi tree, and Isaac Newton realised his theory of gravity when an apple fell from the tree under which he was sitting — and they can help us feel better.

I often take long walks in nature and I particularly like walking among trees. I went on an amazing walk the other day where there were some very large and very old Jew trees. I imagined putting my arms around the tree trunk of one of them, which of course would have been impossible because they must have been several metres in diameter. These trees were so incredibly tall, steady and strong and must have seen many people walk under their branches through the years. So, let’s go for a walk in the forest.

Tap into natures “heart chakra” – that green energy pulsating through the eco- system right now.

Put your shoes on, turn your phone off and head out there. Maybe even hug a tree! Did you know that hugging trees are really good for your health? Even if you don’t feel like hugging a tree, just take a moment and stand under a tree and touch the bark. I did just that on my walk the other day.

For thousands of years trees have been revered and appreciated for their powerful healing abilities, medicinal properties and their spiritual messages.

Trees have many lessons to teach us:

The deeper our “roots” go, the more we are able to handle the challenges that come our way. Healthy, mature trees have roots that travel in all directions seeking water and nutrients.
Don’t be afraid to let things go. Just as the tree sheds the leaves, we should also let go when we need to.
Patience and adaptability are qualities that will take us far.
Trees naturally seek light. We can follow their example and seek the Light of the world.
Enjoy your unique natural beauty.
Bend before you break.

During thousands of years, humans would have lived, worked and played in the forest, but with our urban lifestyle we have abandoned this beautiful connection, resulting causing a vast number of people’s physical and mental health to deteriorate.

Urban living can cause the sympathetic branch of the nervous system, which controls the well-known ‘fight or flight’ response, to be on constant high alert. Continuously high volumes of the stress hormone, cortisol, leads to physical problems such as high blood pressure and heart disease, as well as anxiety and depression.

The good news is that our nervous and immune systems can be calmed and restored by reconnecting with nature. Walking in the woods and observing the things around you and bringing awareness to the senses and simply just breathing in the clean, oxygen- infused air can do wonders for body, mind and soul.

Did you know?

Trees are actually filtering the air from toxins, leaving it especially clean and fresh, whilst also releasing chemicals known as phytoncides, which increase human NK (natural killer) cells, helping to fight off infection, viruses and tumours.

Forest Bathing

As you walk in the forest, be mindful about the landscape… Walk slowly, allow your eyes time to take in the colour palette, notice the different smells… Observe the patterns and shapes, even feel the textures… the rough bark… the soft green moss…There is no rush in the forest. Just calmness. Listen to the sweet sounds of the birds or the wind in the trees. We so often move through a landscape caught up in conversation or our own thoughts and hardly take stock of what’s around us, but if we bring awareness to the experience, we enter into the magical world of nature.

Natural healing and energy

Trees hold vast amounts of Earth energy (prana in yoga) that we can tap into and that can transform us. The vibration of trees resonates with a feeling of security, stability, and safety and is wonderful if we ever need a little pick me up or just to feel the connection with nature.

How to do Forest Bathing

• Turn off your devices to give yourself the best chance of relaxing, being mindful and enjoying a sensory forest-based experience.

• Slow down. Move through the forest slowly so you can see and feel more.

• Take long breaths deep into the abdomen. Extending the exhalation of air to twice the length of the inhalation sends a message to the body that it can relax.

• Stop, stand or sit, smell what’s around you, what can you smell?

•

Take in your surroundings using all of your senses. How does the forest environment make you feel? Be observant, look at nature’s small details.

• Sit quietly using mindful observation; try to avoid thinking about your to-do list or issues related to daily life. You might be surprised by the number of wild forest inhabitants you see using this process.

• Keep your eyes open. The colours of nature are soothing, and studies have shown that people relax best while seeing greens and blues.

• Stay as long as you can, start with a comfortable time limit and build up to the recommended two hours for a complete forest bathing experience.

Are you having trouble sleeping?

innerlightyoga@btopenworld.com (Rose-Marie Sorokin) — Thu, 08 Apr 2021 17:08:21 GMT

9 Tips on how you can improve your sleep

Are you having trouble sleeping or not getting enough sleep?

A few weeks ago, I wrote a meditation on Sleep to help anyone with insomnia or other sleep problems. I uploaded it to my Teacher Page on Insight Timer where I have several other free Meditations . I was staggered to see how many people had listened to it in just a few days. And then I started to get messages about how people loved my Meditation and fell into a deep and restful sleep. I knew already that insomnia is a big problem in our society, but it still surprised me just how widespread this is.

If you are sleeping poorly or not getting enough sleep, your body and mind will be affected. This can range from fatigue you notice the next day, to long-term effects on your mental, physical and emotional health.

Some of these factors that make quality sleep harder to obtain are:

Irregular sleep schedule
Sleeping too much during the day
A job that means working at nighttime (or irregular shifts)
Using electronic devices in bed
Too much noise or light in our bedrooms
Recent personal trauma
Excessive stress
Consuming stimulating or unhealthy foods and drink

Some medical conditions can also cause insomnia too such as anxiety, depression, thyroid disease, restless legs syndrome and sleep apnea.

What are the immediate effects of poor sleep?

If you are not sleeping so well, the short-term effects can include feeling more tired the following day or having difficulties focusing on tasks and keeping your concentration.

The effects of poor sleep include:

A focus on the negative aspects of things
A negative impact on your experience of the day and how you interact with others
Difficulties dealing with ups and downs during the day
Fluctuating moods
More easily irritated or angry
Long-term effects of poor sleep can be devastating.

The long-term effects of poor sleep can be divided into three main categories:

1. Impact on General Health

Poor sleep , including insomnia, in the longer term can change the way your body handles energy and can increase the risk of obesity. There is increasing evidence that poor sleep also changes our food choices with a preference for more carbohydrates, increased calories and reduced protein.

Also, when you are tired, you are less likely to make healthy food choices, choosing snack foods over meals. This combination of food choices, increased calories, and biochemical changes because of those food choices increases the risk of obesity.

Poor sleep also reduces your ability to recover from physical activity, which can make you less interested in exercise.

2. Medical effects of sleep problems

Poor sleep in the longer term has many other implications. It increases the risk of type 2 Diabetes with the body not being able to handle a high carbohydrate/sugar load. There is also an increased risk of high blood pressure, particularly those who average less than five hours of sleep per night over a long period of time.

3. Mental health effects

It has long been known that poor sleep is a risk factor for the development of anxiety and depression. Several studies are showing that young adults with poor sleep are at a greater risk of developing depression later in life. The same data also shows a higher risk of suffering from anxiety.

What can we do?

The most important thing is to go to bed and wake up at the same time each day. This will help your body to establish a good rhythm.

Other steps to help you keep regular sleep patterns:

Naps can sometimes be useful but do not have long naps during the day. If we sleep too much during the day, it will be more difficult to sleep at night. But, short naps, of up to 20 minutes, can help get through the rest of the day.
Make sure you your sleep environment is calm and cool. Temperature should be set between 16-22 degrees. Light and noise should be kept to a minimum.
Create a comfortable and relaxing environment before bed. Switch off all screens 2 hours before bedtime. Make sure your bed is comfortable.
Avoid stimulants such as caffeine / nicotine/alcohol.
Do not eat too close to your bedtime and do not overeat. Having a large meal close to going to bed can interfere with sleep.
Eat healthy foods that are not challenging or over-stimulating your body such as raw fruit and vegetables, green juices and smoothies, organic wholefoods.
Incorporate meditation/mindfulness in your day. This will calm the nervous system and make it easier for you to fall asleep.
Do some exercise during the day which also helps calming down the nervous system. Yoga is fantastic!
Listen to a Sleep Meditation such as mine ‘Deep Sleep – Closing the Book of The Day ’.

Yoga - so much more than exercise

innerlightyoga@btopenworld.com (Rose-Marie Sorokin) — Wed, 02 Dec 2020 16:48:28 GMT

Yoga - so much more than exercise!

A couple of years ago many of the old Yoga Masters in India expressed disappointment with how Yoga had been interpreted in the West. They pointed out that Yoga was not represented in its entirety in the Western world and that yoga teachers just picked out the parts that they liked, i.e. mainly the yoga postures (asana) and turned Yoga into a sport or an exercise class, and ignored the deeper meanings of Yoga.

The misconception today that yoga is an exercise program, couldn’t be further from the truth. Yoga postures are only one aspect of this ancient system of personal development. Yoga aims to still the mind – surrendering mental projections.

Yoga has 8 parts or ‘limbs’ covering different aspects of life.

The Eight Limbs of yoga practice are:

(1) Yama (The five "abstentions"): nonviolence, truth, non-covetousness, chastity, and abstain from attachment to possessions.

(2) Niyama (The five "observances"): purity, contentment, austerities, study, and surrender to the divine.

(3) Asana: Literally means "seat", and in Patanjali's Sutras refers to seated positions used for meditation. Later, with the rise of Hatha yoga, asana came to refer to all the "postures"

(4) Pranayama ("Lengthening Prāna"): Prāna, life force, or vital energy, particularly, the breath, "āyāma", to lengthen or extend

(5) Pratyahara ("Abstraction"): Withdrawal of the sense organs from external objects.

(6) Dharana ("Concentration"): Fixing the attention on a single object

(7) Dhyana ("Meditation"): Intense contemplation of the nature of the object of meditation

(8) Samadhi ("Liberation"): merging consciousness with the object of meditation.

There are different texts discussing yoga, for example the Upanishads, Bhagavad Gita, Yoga Sutras of Patanjali and Hatha Yoga Pradipika.

Patanjali was a sage who is said to be the founder of the yoga philosophy and the author of the Yoga Sutras (approx. 2500 years ago). The Yoga Sutras is a major work containing aphorisms on the philosophical aspects of mind and consciousness.

Verse 2, chapter one in the Yoga Sutras: cittavrttinirodah (cessation of mental fluctuations) is Patanjali’s definition of yoga. It means a state of complete relaxation, inner peace and stillness yet it is a dynamic and alert stillness with great presence, awareness and aliveness rather than a sleepy or foggy state of mind. It is the integration of body, mind, breath and soul to oneness, a state of feeling whole and at one with ourselves, people around us, nature, the planet and the Universe.

Instead of allowing our mind to fill our days with worries, repetitive (negative) thoughts and thoughts about the past and the future, we realize that we can use yoga to train the mind to become still. This is a very important concept. When the mind is still we will view life in a very different way and we find that we can have a life filled with peace rather than struggle, regardless of the experiences we have. When we are calm on the inside we are more resilient to outside challenges and can view them with an attitude of compassion (for ourselves and everyone involved) and detachment.

A simple technique to use for achieving stillness of mind is to focus on the breath. We can do this while laying down in stillness, in a seated meditation pose or during yoga postures. As you practice this you will notice how a great sense of calm develops and it gradually deepens the longer you practice. You are training your mind to focus and relax. This has a profoundly healing effect on all aspects of your life.

It removes the need to criticise, getting angry or depressed or feeling inferior. It allows us to accept ourselves fully as we are and also to accept other people as they are. We see the beauty rather than what is wrong in everything, including ourselves. We realize that there are lessons to learn in every experience we have, and also that every experience is a gift. We give of ourselves in a relaxed, generous and joyful manner and respect the fact that we also need rest and quite time. We create balance and live in harmony with ourselves and everything around us. We surrender.

Halloween Full Moon

innerlightyoga@btopenworld.com (Rose-Marie Sorokin) — Fri, 30 Oct 2020 18:10:40 GMT

Halloween Full Moon 31 Oct 2020

Halloween Full Moon (also a Blue Moon) - unusual and powerful!

The October 31 Full Moon at 08°38′ Taurus is almost exactly conjunct Uranus at 08°41′ Taurus. This takes place 14.49 GMT and is an extremely powerful combination. It can make you feel restless and rebellious and you may experience temper tantrums, irritation, and a general lack of stability – both on the inside and outside.

It is best to approach this with adaptability and an open mind. There could also be exciting opportunities and creative and positive changes in your life at this time so stay open to that.

Uranus conjunct the Full Moon is a powerful energy, and can bring about unexpected surprises, ideas and meetings. How this will manifest for you, know that the role of this Full Moon is to call you into a new understanding of the world. The Taurus Full Moon (on Samhain/ Beltane) occurs at a liminal time - when the veil between worlds is thin - so naturally the energy is encouraging us to see beyond the material realm we often call home.

Traditionally, the Taurus Full Moon is about security, both financial and emotional. The earth sign Taurus is linked with nature and abundance. There is a need to connect to nature and the earth that sustains us. Walking in nature, food & treats and sensual pleasures – these are all connected to Taurus’ delights.

This is also a Blue Moon meaning that it is the second Full Moon in one Month - the first one was on 1 October.

Finding Hope in the middle of Despair

innerlightyoga@btopenworld.com (Rose-Marie Sorokin) — Tue, 20 Oct 2020 14:38:47 GMT

Finding Hope in the middle of Despair

“When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants and murderers, and for a time, they can seem invincible, but in the end, they always fall. Think of it - always.”

Mahatma Gandhi

How can I find hope in the middle of despair?

It’s nuts out there! Read anything, watch anything, talk to anyone, look at politics, the economy, health, walk through a town or city, or on a beach full of plastic. How can we feel hope in the middle of this?

Hope is a human need. It offers a sense of purpose and motivation and helps to fulfil the deep well inside of us to see the potential for good, for a positive action that can make a difference no matter how big or small.

My inquiry is, how do we remain hopeful?

I’m open to any and all of your suggestions.

I recently talked to some friends about how they are finding hope and optimism during this time. I heard a few things over and over again, - connection to nature, deep breathing, being present in the body, meditation and gratitude—focusing on what we do have rather than what we don’t have. All this helps to restore a sense of hope. The practice of going within – to our heart or inner wisdom. To that source of stillness and strength that is always there. And also, to connect with the natural world and feel the ground under our feet and the vast sky above. It puts things in perspective, somehow.

Sraddha is a Sanskrit word meaning ‘faith’ or ‘alignment with our heart’. I focused on this word in my meditation today and I realised just how very fortunate I am to be in this body and this life, regardless of what is going on. I felt a deep gratitude.

Life always contains ups and downs, small and big challenges (and at this present time we are experiencing big challenges). We need to go back to those inner resources and connect deeply with ourselves. There is always some meaning and reason for what is happening, although sometimes it is really hard to see or understand that.

But we do what we CAN! We are only humans after all. And here is a lovely mantra that you can use during challenging times.

Sheevo Hum:

I am pure potentiality.

Uncertainty isn't my enemy, but an opening. I embrace this unknown from a place of inner security and trust. I harness the creative potential of the whole universe. I align with it and I become pure potentiality. Hope is my very source of strength.

Space. To. Be - Time for Self-Kindness

innerlightyoga@btopenworld.com (Rose-Marie Sorokin) — Thu, 18 Jun 2020 13:48:00 GMT

3 Simple Ways of Creating Space. To. Be

Space. To. Be.

Time to practice Self-Kindness

At first, during the lockdown, I thought that 'now I am going to really use this time to write and do lots of things I have not had time to do before'. Did I do that? No. I realised that I was putting a lot of pressure on myself to 'do' and 'produce' when what I needed was to slow down and just be. Allow myself to feel, relax and be kind to myself.

After the trauma of almost losing my business (and also losing my mum at the end of last year), I had a strong urge to do slow down, so I had to listen to my needs and put aside any thoughts on being 'super productive'. I soon realised that this was what my soul had wanted and needed for a long time. Space. To. Be.

So often we keep going without stopping and somehow, we think that we are ok, when in fact we are not. We are actually stressed out and exhausted. I spoke to a colleague of mine (yoga teacher) and he said that when the lockdown started, he realised that he was absolutely ‘knackered’ from teaching and travelling. And this is something I have heard many people say. It is far too easy to get caught up in over-doing and over-working and somewhere along the line we lose the balance between work and rest. Yes, even us yoga teachers who are teaching this stuff!

And it is strange, because sometimes we need something radical to happen for us to stop. So, the pandemic came along, and a lot of people suddenly had no work or routine anymore. And of course, no income. Scary! So many of us are ‘forced’ to re-think what we are doing and how we are doing it. Suddenly we had an opportunity to slow down, re-think, re-arrange and hopefully re-cover from years of stress and exhaustion.

One thing that I did do was to create a slow and more gentle yoga self-practice. I suddenly had the time in the morning to focus on this. It felt so good! It was my Space. To. Be. Notice the dots after each word. They can represent the pauses between the in-breath and the out-breath. That space where you allow yourself to ‘float’ in timeless space. This is not a ‘doing space’ but a ‘being space’. Imagine if we could take a few deep breaths throughout the day and pause between each in-breath and out-breath. That makes such a difference! It doesn’t have to be more difficult than that. This is how you create space and awareness. Your personal space. This is one of the best Self-Compassion practices you can do for yourself. You have the right to slow down and just relax. If everyone did this, we would have a different world.

Another thing that I did was to go for long walks in nature every day. This is also Space. To. Be. At first, I explored my immediate local area and then, when we had permission to drive, I ventured out to new and wonderful places for my walks. It was absolutely wonderful! And I am glad to see that so many people have now discovered the healing effect of nature. A lot of research has been done on this and in particularly on the proximity of trees and the effect that this has on our well-being. So, get those shoes on and head out in nature.

I also practice meditation for around 20-30 min every day. It is like an anchor for me. It grounds me and keeps me in the present and takes me out of the little ego chatter in my mind. Another Space. To. Be. Often, I just sit in silence. Sometimes I focus on the breath and those natural pauses between the out-breath and the in-breath. Sometimes I use a simple mantra. There is no right or wrong. Each of us will find a meditation style that suits us.

So just a little recap.

Space. To. Be

Can be…..

• Breathing and the natural pauses between the in and out breath.

• Time in nature.

• Meditation.

That is so simple yet profound, don't you think? Please feel free to comment below or share this post.

20 Quotes on Hope

innerlightyoga@btopenworld.com (Rose-Marie Sorokin) — Tue, 16 Jun 2020 08:35:46 GMT

Inspirational quotes in difficult times

I don't konw about you, but I love inspirational quotes! It is like little love letters or reminders to focus your mind on what is good and positive instead of getting stuck in negative thinking. An inspirational quote can immediately lift you up and out of sadness and despair. It takes you back to what is important in life and it helps you to appreciate life. So here are a few of my favourite quotes on hope.

“Shoot for the moon, even if you fail, you'll land among the stars”

Cecelia Ahern

“Some changes look negative on the surface, but you will soon realize that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge.”

Eckhart Tolle

“All is well even when it seems unbelievably unwell.”

Adyashanti

“Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.”

Albert Einstein

“May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.”

Nelson Mandela

Hope is passion for what is possible.

Soren Kierkegaard

“Once you choose hope, anything is possible.”

Christopher Reeve

"I simply can't build my hopes on a foundation of confusion, misery and death...I think...peace and tranquillity will return again.

Anne Frank

“Never lose hope. Storms make people stronger and never last forever.”

Roy T. Bennett

“There is a saying in Tibetan, 'Tragedy should be utilized as a source of strength.'

“No matter what sort of difficulties, how painful experience is, if we lose our hope, that's our real disaster.”

Dalai Lama

“The road that is built in hope is more pleasant to the traveller than the road built in despair, even though they both lead to the same destination.”

Marion Zimmer Bradley

“Deep grief sometimes is almost like a specific location, a coordinate on a map of time. When you are standing in that forest of sorrow, you cannot imagine that you could ever find your way to a better place. But if someone can assure you that they themselves have stood in that same place, and now have moved on, sometimes this will bring hope”

Elizabeth Gilbert

“Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies.”

Mother Teresa

“But you can build a future out of anything. A scrap, a flicker. The desire to go forward, slowly, one foot at a time. You can build an airy city out of ruins.”

Lauren Oliver

"Where there is discord may we bring harmony. Where there is error, may we bring truth. Where there is doubt, may we bring faith. Where there is despair, may we bring hope."

Francis of Assisi

"What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise"

Oscar Wilde

"I find hope in the darkest of days, and focus in the brightest. I do not judge the universe."

Dalai Lama

"Hope is like the sun, which, as we journey toward it, casts the shadow of our burden behind us."

Samuel Smiles

“Hope can be a powerful force. Maybe there's no actual magic in it, but when you know what you hope for most and hold it like a light within you, you can make things happen, almost like magic.”

Laini Taylor

The Art of Self-Care

innerlightyoga@btopenworld.com (Rose-Marie Sorokin) — Wed, 03 Jun 2020 15:56:59 GMT

How to take better care of your self

Do you ever forget to take care of yourself? I know, your diary is full, you need to juggle all your commitments and there doesn’t seem to be enough hours in the day. But the truth is that if you don’t take care of yourself, it will not be long until you feel exhausted, confused and unable to care about anyone or anything.

I should know. Many years ago I had a translation business, working all the hours of the day and sometimes night. I enjoyed my work, but I had no life and no time for myself. My life was filled with work and tight deadlines. I felt extremely tired and my back, shoulders and neck were constantly aching. I started to ask myself if this was what life was about.

Of course sometimes we may need to put in more hours to get a business up and running or there could be times when we need to be there for a loved one who may be unwell. However even during tough times like this, we need to take care of ourselves.

Is self-care the same as being selfish? I remember many years ago when I was giving a talk on self-care at the Cardiac Support Unit at Maidstone Hospital. I talked about how important it is to take time out and do things specifically for your own wellbeing, when a lady in the group said ‘But surely that is being selfish!’ She continued ‘you need to put other people first before thinking about yourself’.

So let’s look at this. Self-care is not about being selfish. It is about self-respect and self-love. It has nothing to do with caring less for other people. If you imagine that you are a cup (the ‘cup of self-care’) and that everyone else also are cups. Your cup needs to be filled up with self-care and self-love. You can only share this love if your own cup is full and spills over into other people’s cups. If your cup is half-empty, you have no surplus to give to others and it becomes very difficult to share.

If we find it difficult to make time for self-care then there may be an underlying lack of self-love. There may be a tendency to make decisions based on wanting approval rather than what your heart is telling you. The author, teacher and musician Jamie Catto talks about this as ‘approval addiction’. Another word for this is ‘people pleasing’.

Do you suffer from ‘approval addiction’?

Doing things you dislike

You often find yourself doing things that you dislike, so that you are part of a group and make other people happy.

Taking care of others

You spend a large amount of your time taking care of others at the expense of your own joy and wellbeing.

Seeking approval

You seek reinforcement from others on a regular basis to feel successful and accomplished.

Feeling guilt

You often feel guilty for all sorts of things. You blame yourself and turn the anger inward.

Holding back

You often hold back your own talents so that others will be successful in their life.

Being indecisive

You are very indecisive and find it difficult to make simple decisions because you are worried about how the decision will affect others.

Not telling the truth

You often tell little lies and cover up things because you are worried how the truth will make other people feel.

You are a doormat

You allow people to walk all over you and you know it.

Not speaking up

You find it very difficult to speak up. No matter how you are feeling or what is going on - you just never give your opinion or tell anyone how you are really feeling.

So how do you get started? I have a few tips here:

1. Plan in proper ‘Me-Time’ each week. Do something you really enjoy. Meet up with a friend. Have a massage. Read a book. Or just relax.

2. Plan your working week. This is to avoid becoming overwhelmed. Schedule in time when you can work uninterrupted and times when you are ‘open’ to take messages etc. Plan in a proper lunch break.

3. Join a group of likeminded people. This could be a reading circle, a group of friends, a walking group.

2. Believe in yourself and stand up for yourself.

3. Plan in some yoga or other movement time in your week. Why not join a local class?

3. Meditate daily – 10-30 minutes.

4. Know when it is time to just stop and rest. Learn how to pick up the signals that your body are sending you.

6. Book a ‘Me Day’ once a month and stick with it. You may spend the day at home, go to a Spa or take a relaxing drive to a new place.

7. Laugh! Watch a funny movie or spend time with someone that makes you laugh.

How to fill up your cup of self-care

innerlightyoga@btopenworld.com (Rose-Marie Sorokin) — Sat, 23 May 2020 16:22:25 GMT

Tips on self-care and self-compassion

Is self-care the same as being selfish? I remember many years ago when I was giving a talk on self-care at the Cardiac Support Unit at Maidstone Hospital in Kent. I talked about how important it is to take time out and do things specifically for your own wellbeing, when a lady in the group said ‘But surely that is being selfish!’ She continued ‘you need to put other people first before thinking about yourself’.

Do you suffer from ‘approval addiction’?

Doing things you dislike

You often find yourself doing things that you dislike, so that you are part of a group and make other people happy.

Taking care of others

You spend a large amount of your time taking care of others at the expense of your own joy and wellbeing.

Seeking approval

You seek reinforcement from others on a regular basis to feel successful and accomplished.

Feeling guilt

You often feel guilty for all sorts of things. You blame yourself and turn the anger inward.

Holding back

You often hold back your own talents so that others will be successful in their life.

Being indecisive

You are very indecisive and find it difficult to make simple decisions because you are worried about how the decision will affect others.

Not telling the truth

You often tell little lies and cover up things because you are worried how the truth will make other people feel.

You are a doormat

You allow people to walk all over you and you know it.

Not speaking up

You find it very difficult to speak up. No matter how you are feeling or what is going on - you just never give your opinion or tell anyone how you are really feeling.

So how do you get started? I have a few tips here:

1. Plan in proper ‘Me-Time’ each week. Do something you really enjoy. Meet up with a friend. Have a massage. Read a book. Or just relax.

3. Join a group of likeminded people. This could be a reading circle, a group of friends, a walking group.

2. Believe in yourself and stand up for yourself.

3. Plan in some yoga or other movement time in your week. Why not join a local class?

3. Meditate daily – 10-30 minutes.

4. Know when it is time to just stop and rest. Learn how to pick up the signals that your body are sending you.

6. Book a ‘Me Day’ once a month and stick with it. You may spend the day at home, go to a Spa or take a relaxing drive to a new place.

7. Laugh! Watch a funny movie or spend time with someone that makes you laugh.

How prayer changed my life

innerlightyoga@btopenworld.com (Rose-Marie Sorokin) — Sat, 23 May 2020 16:16:10 GMT

And helped me find happiness and inner peace

Many years ago, I was in a difficult situation. I had just split up from my husband, I had quit my job and I had no money (and a huge mortgage to pay). I tried really hard to find a new job but with not much luck. I felt low and scared. That was until I started to pray! Praying was not something I was particularly familiar with. We did it when I went to Sunday school as a child but I had not really been practicing prayer since. But something spurred me on, and I spontaneously started to pray. At that point I was very desperate and I realised that I had nothing to lose. This was not some kind of formal prayer but just my own version. I was simply talking to God/Universe. I had a sense that I needed to connect with something bigger than myself because I was not handling my personal situation very well.

On a subconscious level I had been saying ‘no’ to myself for a very long time. No to my uniqueness, my talents, what I wanted and who I really was, and that is why I think I had ended up in such a difficult situation. I felt deep within myself that it was time to let go of all that. Eckhart Tolle says: Say “yes” to life – and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you.’

But I needed help. And I just didn’t know who to ask or what to do. So that is why I started to pray. Why not ask a higher power, I thought to myself. I had no expectations whatsoever but thought that I would have a go. I had always been very interested in spirituality and had already been working with astrology for many years, so I knew that we are just a small part of something much, much bigger. The problem was that I had lost the connection with this higher power. Now it was time to reconnect.

So I sat down on the floor, lit some candles, closed my eyes and started to explain to the Universe that I needed help. I visualised that I had a job, that I could pay off my debts, that money was flowing in and that I was surrounded by loving people. And I really put a lot of feeling into those thoughts and images. I repeated this every day, for up to an hour, and I entered into a deep state of meditation. I noticed after a while how my negative thoughts, fear, sadness and desperation started to subside. My situation was still the same, but I started to let go of the worry and started to feel more inner peace.

After a couple of weeks I had a break-through. I received some money from an unexpected source – the exact amount I needed to pay off my debts! And I also found a job. Shortly after that I met my partner, whom I am still with today. There were still things to sort out but at least I was on the right path and could see a future.

So what exactly happened when I prayed? To be perfectly honest, I am not sure but discovered later that a lot of research had been done on prayer and ritual. Dr Stanley Krippner, professor of psychology at Saybrook University in California, has made a vast study of ritual including shamanic rituals and found that they create major neural changes causing the two halves of the brain to synchronize, leading to a better integration between what is considered the executive part of the brain (the cortex) and the emotional centre (the limbic system) and a greater synthesis of thought, emotion and behaviour.

Dr Jeff Levin says that believing in something greater than yourself has a healing power in itself. In his research he discovered that the central theme in all different traditions is that the universe is not subject to random processes but possesses a divine order. The sense that everything has a purpose is in itself very powerful and transformational.

So when I was sitting there on the floor praying, I was starting to ‘reorganise’ my brain! I was making it more coherent and more balanced. I was also starting to let go of stress and tension. I discovered that it is possible to feel relaxed even in the middle of chaos. Because if you are in balance on the inside, you can so much better handle all those challenges on the outside. I also think that I was ‘allowing’ something better to enter my life. Instead of being tense, disappointed, angry and defensive, I started to let go. Realising that if I could just trust, everything would be so much better. I was starting to create a space within myself where more positive things could manifest. And I was aligning with my true self, not the self that I had unknowingly been building up with the focus on pleasing others and ‘fitting in’. I truly believe that when we really start to listen to our inner wisdom we can’t go wrong. Things will work out.

And everything worked out for me, I am pleased to say. I moved from a difficult and chaotic situation to one of happiness and peace. Of course, I am not pretending that there are no challenges nowadays, but there is a vast difference in how I feel about myself and my life. In the end I listened to that inner wisdom and acted on it, step by step. I took the time to go within and be still. I allowed the guidance to come through. You can do that too.

How to pray:

1. Find a comfortable position.

2. Take a couple of deep breaths.

3. Relax.

4. You can write down or just say your prayer in your mind. Start with ‘Dear Universe/Divine/Beloved…..

5. Let go and hand over to the Universe.

Research:

Dr Stanley Krippner, quoted in Marilyn Schlitz et al., Consciousness & Healing: Integral Approaches to Mind-Body Medicine (Atlanta, GA: Elsevier, 2005):179.

J Levin ‘How Faith Heals; A Theoretical Model’, Explore, 2009.

How to sleep better with meditation

innerlightyoga@btopenworld.com (Rose-Marie Sorokin) — Sat, 23 May 2020 16:06:24 GMT

Tips on improving your sleep

When I was building my first business as a translator many years ago, I suffered from a lot of stress. I started having intense pain in my shoulders, neck, arms, hands and back as a result of very long hours in front of the computer. I sometimes had crazy deadline and would work until 1am! My sleep was also very disturbed. As I had a background as a dance and fitness, I was very aware of that I needed to move my body to alleviate the pain and tension. I created a series of movements that I would do two to three times a day. I also did some deep stretching and breathing. It helped! I started to sleep better, and I had less pain.

Then I got a large project to work on and my movement and breathing program didn’t seem to work as well anymore. There were also other stressful things going on in my life. I was feeling exceptionally overwhelmed and I was reacting stressfully to all these situations and my mind when into overdrive. I was totally wired and couldn’t sleep very well. Desperate for solutions, I gave meditation a try. I started sleeping better and soon the situations got resolved, as they mostly always do, and I had got enough from meditation to suspect I had discovered a powerful method for peace of mind.

I’ve never really looked back. Meditation became a habit, and eventually I trained to become a mediation teacher to help other people to experience the same benefits.

In recent years it feels like our sleep — or more accurately the lack of it — has come into sharper focus. It seems that many of us who are living a fast paced, always on, modern Western lifestyle suspect that we’re generally not getting enough good quality sleep. This can result in a feeling of being chronically under-rested or Tired All The Time (TATT!).

I looked at what the science says about meditative practices and their effects on sleep and rest.

The first study was with a group of moderately suffering insomniacs, published in JAMA Internal Medicine in 2015. Half of the group completed a mindfulness awareness program and the other half did a sleep hygiene education program that taught them other ways to improve their sleep. The results were surprising. Compared with the people in the sleep education group, those in the mindfulness group had less insomnia, fatigue, and depression at the end of the six sessions.

In the 1970s Dr Herbert Benson, a pioneer of scientific meditation research coined the term “the relaxation response” The relaxation response is a counterbalance to the fight-or-flight response, in which a deep state of mental and physiological rest can be elicited. The good news is that Dr Benson’s research showed that we can purposely prompt this response.

Some mindfulness meditation and other meditation techniques involving focusing on either the breath, an object or a repeated word or phrase (mantra) were shown to elicit the relaxation response. Further research showed that the relaxation response can help ease many stress-related ailments, including depression, pain, and high blood pressure. For many people, sleep disorders are closely tied to stress, according to Dr. Benson.

A study done at the University of Massachusetts Medical Center’s Stress Reduction and Relaxation Program, found that meditators produced significantly higher melatonin levels than non-meditators. Melatonin is a hormone produced in the brain that amongst other benefits regulates our circadian rhythms, makes us feel less alert and induces the onset of sleep. This was a small study of just 16 participants and so results must be taken into context, but the findings do tally with a lot of anecdotal evidence of meditators reporting easier and better sleep, myself included. I started meditating to solve that very problem and haven’t had sleep issues again for years despite working through other situations that have induced similar stress levels since.

So will developing a regular meditation practice help us both to rest more deeply and sleep easier and better. What else can we adapt from meditative practices?

Now and then I’ll wake up in the middle of the night and have a lot of thoughts in my mind (usually about some problem I tried to solve the day before). In the past this would have been a real problem and I would have found it difficult to go back to sleep. That is rarely a problem now as I am using a couple of meditative techniques that usually help me go back to sleep quickly.

The first is simply focusing on my breath, releasing tension on every exhale and sinking further into the mattress. A couple of minutes of that’s usually enough and I fall back into sleep. Other times I use a progressive muscle relaxation where I go through the body, bit by bit.

Outside of meditation, there’s a lot of other things you can do. Here are a few:

• Good “sleep hygiene” — the habits that are optimising a regular good nights’ sleep. It is about your sleep environment, and general habits and routines including diet, exercise and other areas.

• I can highly recommend “Why We Sleep” by Matthew Walker.

• Limiting / eliminating screen time on devices or TVs an hour before bed is very effective. It has helped me very much!

• Plan to avoid being overwhelmed. Especially the priorities & to-dos, get them on paper so they stop swirling around in my head.

• A slow deep stretch or Yoga before going to bed — linking your breath to the movements. It releases tension and moves the focus of the mind.

I’m sure there’s many other great sleep tips and tricks — share your best ones in the comments below.

Coping during difficult times

innerlightyoga@btopenworld.com (Rose-Marie Sorokin) — Sat, 23 May 2020 15:50:42 GMT

Tips for finding inner peace

How are you? Are you coping well with being at home or are you struggling? At first it may seem ok or even great to spend all that time at home. No commuting! Sleep-ins? Yea! But then there may be moments of serious doubt, sadness, worry even panic. What is going to happen? How does my/our future look? There is no doubt that many of us are experiencing a roller-coaster of emotions, but instead of trying to fight those emotions, try to stay with them. Take the time you need. Breathe. Take time out (as I did). Celebrate the moments when you feel good. These are times like no others.

The Earth and the whole of humanity are going through a major, major shift. And nobody knows what is next or how this will develop. Everything is crumbling. Many of societies structures are now falling apart. But remember that the darkest hours are just before dawn. The light will come again. And all we can do is to go with it.

We know is that there is an awakening going on. A massive awakening! All 7.8 billion of us are going through this – and we didn’t ask for it. We protest, we resist, we just don’t want to know. We struggle and we feel the pain. And we ask over and over again, “what is going to happen (to me)”?

The first ten days of the ‘lock-down’ I was going through some major shifts. I had very powerful meditations that brought me to tears many times. I cried for humanity, the Earth and for all the suffering. And I cried for myself and my loved ones. For anyone who is ill with the virus and their loved ones. For ALL the suffering. But there was also visions of a future. A very different future. Hope. We can do this, together. And this shift is so very much bigger than we realise. There is no turning back. Ever. We and the whole world will be radically different after this. There is a light.

I think I might have subconsciously waited for this time my whole life. When humanity wakes up to the horrendous things that are going on in the world. The cruelty to humans and animals, the destruction of nature and the planet, the self-abuse and the selfishness that is widespread. The addiction to things, status, money, looks, travel, digital devises, junk food and meaningless activities. The shallowness and disrespect. It is as if the Earth said ‘Enough!’ and we all had to stop. Our freedom drastically restricted. A very, very hard lesson indeed.

I noticed almost immediately when the lock-down started that the air was very much cleaner. I went out in my garden in the morning and took some deep breaths. Wow! That felt so good. I looked up into the sky and it was blue and clear. The weather improved almost immediately. From having had almost constant rain for weeks and months, the sky cleared, and the sun showed itself. And in the absence of traffic I could hear the birds and there were so many of them. They seemed to love the clean air as well. On my walk along the river I noticed that the water had another colour, from always being brown it was now a green tone and very clear. I also noticed how crystal clear the water was in the streams. And it was almost as if I could hear nature whispering ‘thank you’.

After my first strong and emotional shifts, I felt elated. I felt light and happy as if something had opened up. And after that I got very, very tired. It was as if I could not get enough sleep. I went to be early and woke up late, not wanting to get out of bed in the morning. Yet again, I felt as if I had to slow down for a while. Take a step back and respect the fact that I needed a lot of rest. So, I did. There is no point trying to fight your body or mind when it clearly says that it is time to slow down. I took more time to meditate, did some very gentle yoga and did lots of reading and resting. I found myself thinking that I should use the lockdown time to do ‘useful’ things such as catching up on paperwork, re-designing my website, write that book etc. I did none of that. I am in the middle of writing my second book but right now I have no desire to write it. Some may call it writers block, but I think it is about timing. This is not the time to write that book. It may be the right time later, but not now.

I am now in a phase of less strong emotional shifts, but I do notice that my mood is going up and down quickly. I am very happy one minute and sad the next. This can go on for a few days and then I feel more ‘normal’ again. All we can do is to just flow with this. I think it is something we just have to accept. And it is far better to stay with our feelings than to suppress them.

This will pass and we will come out the other end – changed. Absolutely changed in some way. We do not yet know how we will have changed but it is important to stay open to all possibilities. We can take some time to contemplate what this may mean to us but at the same time just let go and trust that everything will be fine.

So here are my top tips for coping during difficult times.

1. Slow down. Don’t stress yourself out because you don’t think you are using the lockdown time in the best way.

2. Practice radical self-care. Now is the time to take really good care of yourself. Take time to meditate, exercise and eat well.

3. Contemplate. This is different from meditation or mindfulness. In contemplation we listen to the wisdom that is already within us. We find pauses during our day to contemplate. We stop and we listen to nature, our body, our intuition, our heart, our soul and deeper mind. Not the overactive mind but that part of ourselves beyond the mind. From a point of contemplation, we respond more clearly and calmly to everything around us.

4. Trust. Stop trying to figure things out. Just relax and trust.