The Miracle of Yes - reconnecting with purpose, passion and peace and creating a life you love.
By Rose-Marie Sorokin
Chapter 1 – Now
“Always say “yes” to the present moment. What could be more futile, more insane, than to create inner resistance to what already is? What could be more insane than to oppose life itself, which is now and always now? Surrender to what is. Say “yes” to life — and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you”. Eckhart Tolle
When I said Yes!
It was the spring of 1990 and I was really struggling. My husband and I had just moved to Kent and I had taken the decision to quit my job in London as I found it very difficult and tiring to commute. For a while I would be reliant on my husband’s income as I was planning to find a job locally as soon as possible. However, it didn’t turn out that way. After years in a very difficult marriage, I found it increasingly hard to cope, and my husband and I finally decided to split up. He moved out of our home and went to France and stopped paying his part of the mortgage. I found myself in a situation with no job, no income and no way of paying my mortgage or any other bills. I was in a very difficult situation to say the least.
I was under huge stress and felt fearful and panic-stricken most days as I realised that I had to very quickly solve my problems. I started to develop a huge fear of what was going to come through the letterbox each day, as there were plenty of letters from companies who wanted payment. The letters got worse and worse, with threats of legal action, repossession etc. It was a desperate situation. Apart from writing to the various companies and explaining my situation asking for more time to pay, I also urgently looked for a job. I spent hours each day trying to find a job, but I couldn’t find anything as I was living in a relatively small semi-rural area. One day I felt totally hopeless and I was in floods of tears as I could not see a way out. Sitting there on the floor in my living room I spontaneously started to pray. Not any kind of religious prayers, but just my own prayers. I explained to the Universe that I needed help. I asked repeatedly for help, guidance and assistance. I could not see any other way out, so this became a ritual. I would spend one to two hours (often longer) a day, lighting a candle, closing my eyes and praying. I couldn’t explain why I was doing this as I had never really prayed before, but something was spurring me on. Something made me take the time to pray. I was desperate, and my intuition told me to do this. In the middle of my chaotic situation, I started to get glimpses of peace and I would experience colours and vibrations as I sat there praying. What I didn’t realise at the time was that I was connecting to my soul and to something much bigger than myself – to the Universe.
That was the start of me saying ‘Yes’ to myself, my life, to the Universe and to my future. Little miracles started to happen. I got a job, money came from ‘nowhere’ and I started to rebuild my life. I will tell you more about this later in this book.
The big questions
The unexamined life is not worth living. Socrates
Once you start looking at any challenging area in your life there can be many questions such as “How do I stop worrying? How can I know that things will work out? Why do I feel so alone? How can I feel more love? What is my purpose?” or “Who am I?”. Those were the questions I was asking myself all those years ago and it is the same questions that many of my clients are asking today. These are very big and important questions.
When we start asking these questions however, we have started on our journey towards more self-understanding, self-love and transformation. We are ready to make changes, open ourselves up to new possibilities and new ideas and we move away from excessive struggle. This is a very good place to be, because this is the starting point of something new. Yes, even if you are 60, 70, 80 and beyond. Don’t ever think that it is ‘too late’. Your life adventure is there for you!
The present situation
“Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at the moment.”
―
Eckhart Tolle
It is far too easy to rush from one thing to another, allowing one day to flow into the next one, and never stop for a moment. When I teach my yoga classes, I create a space for everyone to stop and just be present in the moment. It is the same with a meditation practice. It provides a space for you to be in stillness and to stop, breathe and relax. It is a great idea to schedule some of these moments into your day and week. There will be more about this later in this book.
A good place to start your journey towards inner peace is this exercise. It is a quick evaluation of where you are right now in your life and an opportunity to land in the present moment.
Reflection: The present situation – part 1
Have pen and paper ready. Take a moment right now and be still. Close your eyes. Take a few deep breaths. Ask yourself: Where am I now? Who am I now? What is going on in my life right now?
And then write down what comes to mind. I am sharing here what some of my clients have said.
Example:
- Jane: I am a 43-year-old woman, married with two children and working as a solicitor. I enjoy my work, but suffer from feeling overwhelmed from time to time. I wish I could have more time with the children. I am a little confused about the future. I am longing to express myself more, maybe as a writer. Generally, I have a good life, with a good income and a nice home, but I suspect that there is a lot more to life than what I am experiencing right now.
- Peter: I am a 60-year-old man and I have just retired. I have been running a very successful business for many years and I just sold it. I am married with 3 grown up boys. At the moment I feel very lost, as I have changed from having very busy days to now not having anything to do all day. I am not sure what to do or in which direction to go.
You have just put down on paper a little about your current thoughts and circumstances. Maybe this was the first time you have done this. This is a good starting point, and will give you some idea and clarity about your present life. Let’s take it to the next step.
Reflection: The present situation - part 2
What are your feelings about this? Again, just take a moment and close your eyes. Take a few deep breaths. Focus on your heart area, and ask yourself what you are feeling when you think about your current circumstances. There is no right or wrong here.
Example:
- Jane: I generally feel ok, but I can also feel sadness in my heart. I am not sure why.
- Peter: It feels strange. Empty. I feel a little fearful. I am telling myself to pull myself together.
Reflection: The present situation – part 3
Stay with this feeling for a moment. Try to relax into it. Feel the feeling.
What message does this feeling have? What does it want to tell you?
Write it down. Again, there are no right or wrong answers.
Example:
- Jane: I think it wants to tell me that I need to create more space in my life for enjoyment and relaxation. Maybe it is telling me that I am rushing around too much and that I need to slow down.
- Peter: Strange, because in the middle of this emptiness I am feeling that there is a seed of joy! I actually have some more time to myself now. What comes to mind is that I should take up my old interest of painting and drawing again.
As I mentioned earlier, when I found myself in a very difficult situation, part of my healing process was to accept what was going on at the moment and realise that I could improve things from then on. I also realised that I had not been listening to my intuition for a very long time. That was a clear message for me at that point.
It can be very useful to stop, breathe and listen inward from time to time to find out where you are right now and just relaxing into the present moment, regardless of what you feel and what is going on in your life right now. Eckhart Tolle says that “feeling will get you closer to truth of who you are than thinking”. By taking these moments of looking inward and spending time in stillness, we get to know ourselves better, and this is also the way to self-acceptance and acceptance of the present. We stop wanting to run away from what is and we thereby create more peace within ourselves.
To help you understand what acceptance means we can use the metaphor of the ocean. Your thoughts, feelings and sensations are the waves of the ocean - coming and going. There are big strong waves and there are soft gentle waves – they are all water and they are all part of the ocean. At the deepest level of the ocean there is stillness. You are the ocean – all parts of it. You know that you have a vast stillness and peace within yourself and that the waves are on the surface. You accept the waves as a part of you. None of the waves can harm or destroy you as you have this deep peace within you. The ocean and the waves are inseparable.
Choices we make
How did we get to the point in our lives where we are now? By making lots of different choices – some good and some not so good. Some conscious and some unconscious choices. The choices we made in the past have led us to where we are today – it is a result of all the many small and big decisions we have made. In my own case, I had made many different choices to get to where I was in 1990. For example, I had chosen to move abroad and thereby leave my home country, family and friends, marry someone, buy a house that needed a lot of work, change career, etc. Some of these choices seemed wonderful at the time, but others caused me grief and sadness. However, with awareness I started to make better choices. I learnt to focus on what I really wanted and to listen inward instead of rushing into situations that may not have supported me. However, when I look at the larger picture of my life, I was ‘meant’ to make all these choices, and that has taken me to where and who I am today. I am grateful for that journey.
I believe that we are all responsible for our choices. It is easy to blame it on circumstances, parents, partners, the economy, our health etc., but the fact is that somewhere along the line you made several different decisions that took you in a certain direction. Some people have difficulties accepting this, and I can understand that. It can feel very hard to accept that we are responsible for our current situation (I really struggled with this at first!). However, if we can accept where we are right now and relax a little, we can also change it and move on. We can make other choices. And it is never too late. As I discovered!
Your choice
Is it time for you to make other choices and take a different direction in life? Do you want a life that is a more accurate reflection of who you really are? If you are willing to step out of the comfort zone and make different choices, you may be on a journey of adventure and excitement (and some challenging bits too!). You may find new groups of people that are more on your ‘wave length’ and you may have a dramatically increased sense of inner peace. You will know what it is like to live a life you love, and stop living a life according to other people’s views and opinions. You are ready to heal your life, move on and embrace a new future. You are ready to say Yes! Once you start to heal yourself it will have a dramatic effect on yourself, other people and the planet because you are so much more powerful than you think.
Reflection: 10 Deep Breaths
1. Get into a comfortable position
2. Close your eyes.
3. Take 10 deep breaths. Try to feel the abdomen move as you breathe. Relax.
Copyright Rose-Marie Sorokin.
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